My Furry Little Problem
Prof. Scarlet Leslie-Lewis
October 2016
Halfway through the fifth season of my all-time favorite TV show, Monk, I could finally relate to the OCD detective's famous catchphrase, "It's a blessing, and a curse." My cursed blessing comes in the form of bipolar disorder. During one of my rotations, my preceptor linked mental illnesses to "monsters." Naturally, bipolar disorder parallels the dual nature of the werewolf. Bipolar disorder is comprised of two major mood phases: mania and depression. In fact, the other name for bipolar disorder is manic depression. Mood episodes may last from a few weeks to a couple of months.
The history of at least one episode of mania is what distinguishes bipolar disorder from major depressive disorder (depression). A minor case of mania, or hypomania, is like taking a tablespoon or two of Felix Felicis. It puts me in a really great mood. I feel extremely productive and all these ideas come to me. I am able to function on little to no sleep. Contrary to my usual quiet demeanor, I become talkative. Mania seems okay in small doses, but it can rapidly escalate and become too much. The consequences of taking too much Felix Felicis all apply to full blown mania: giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence. Impulse control is also an issue with mania, including gambling, spending sprees, and speeding. (To my fellow Slytherin professors, this might explain my terrible habit of braking too late.)
The crash after a manic episode leads to depression. There is no real way to describe depression accurately through words. I would not be able to physically force myself to get out of bed in the morning. My mind simply refused to make decisions. I have spent hours standing in my closet because I did not know what to wear. Like a dementor, depression sucks the peace, hope, and happiness out of you. For some, it is also possible to experience mixed episodes with elements of for mania and depression at the same time.
The majority of the time is spent in a stable mood, neither manic or depressive. Medications to treat bipolar disorder are called mood stabilizers. Finding the effective drug cocktail is as tricky as brewing Wolfsbane Potion and may take months to years. I have tried taking lamotrigine, but it made me extremely sensitive to light, changing me from a werewolf to a vampire. The gold standard treatment option for bipolar disorder is lithium. It requires regular blood draws to ensure that the lithium level in the blood remains therapeutic. Similar to Wolfsbane Potion, mood stabilizers may help minimize extreme mood swings, but they cannot completely eliminate bipolar disorder. In addition to medication, sleep is an important part of managing my bipolar disorder. My other coping methods include eating well, playing volleyball, and having creative outlets, like HOL!
Sometimes I wish I could harness my manic mannerisms, especially confidence and social skills, for other instances. But experiencing mania has shown me that those abilities are in me somewhere. I am also grateful for each day that I am not depressed. There are days when I wish I did not have bipolar disorder, but I have come to accept that it has always been a part of who I am. It is my blessing and my curse – my furry little problem.
Halfway through the fifth season of my all-time favorite TV show, Monk, I could finally relate to the OCD detective's famous catchphrase, "It's a blessing, and a curse." My cursed blessing comes in the form of bipolar disorder. During one of my rotations, my preceptor linked mental illnesses to "monsters." Naturally, bipolar disorder parallels the dual nature of the werewolf. Bipolar disorder is comprised of two major mood phases: mania and depression. In fact, the other name for bipolar disorder is manic depression. Mood episodes may last from a few weeks to a couple of months.
The history of at least one episode of mania is what distinguishes bipolar disorder from major depressive disorder (depression). A minor case of mania, or hypomania, is like taking a tablespoon or two of Felix Felicis. It puts me in a really great mood. I feel extremely productive and all these ideas come to me. I am able to function on little to no sleep. Contrary to my usual quiet demeanor, I become talkative. Mania seems okay in small doses, but it can rapidly escalate and become too much. The consequences of taking too much Felix Felicis all apply to full blown mania: giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence. Impulse control is also an issue with mania, including gambling, spending sprees, and speeding. (To my fellow Slytherin professors, this might explain my terrible habit of braking too late.)
The crash after a manic episode leads to depression. There is no real way to describe depression accurately through words. I would not be able to physically force myself to get out of bed in the morning. My mind simply refused to make decisions. I have spent hours standing in my closet because I did not know what to wear. Like a dementor, depression sucks the peace, hope, and happiness out of you. For some, it is also possible to experience mixed episodes with elements of for mania and depression at the same time.
The majority of the time is spent in a stable mood, neither manic or depressive. Medications to treat bipolar disorder are called mood stabilizers. Finding the effective drug cocktail is as tricky as brewing Wolfsbane Potion and may take months to years. I have tried taking lamotrigine, but it made me extremely sensitive to light, changing me from a werewolf to a vampire. The gold standard treatment option for bipolar disorder is lithium. It requires regular blood draws to ensure that the lithium level in the blood remains therapeutic. Similar to Wolfsbane Potion, mood stabilizers may help minimize extreme mood swings, but they cannot completely eliminate bipolar disorder. In addition to medication, sleep is an important part of managing my bipolar disorder. My other coping methods include eating well, playing volleyball, and having creative outlets, like HOL!
Sometimes I wish I could harness my manic mannerisms, especially confidence and social skills, for other instances. But experiencing mania has shown me that those abilities are in me somewhere. I am also grateful for each day that I am not depressed. There are days when I wish I did not have bipolar disorder, but I have come to accept that it has always been a part of who I am. It is my blessing and my curse – my furry little problem.